Even before children can talk, we can model self-care.  Simply by narrating our own self-care practices, we can provide them with the language and understanding to advocate for their own needs as they grow.

As a parent of two young children, I understand that this can be easier said than done.  Practicing mindfulness, listening to my body, and prioritizing my own well-being isn’t something that was stressed in my upbringing.  On the contrary, the messages I received taught me to sacrifice my needs for those of others, and I’ve had to work really hard to unlearn those destructive habits.

So, what does it mean to model self-care in my family?  It means that I say things like: “Let me take care of my body” when I’m feeling hangry, or when my bladder is too full, or when I need to rest, or when I need to move.  I try to express my emotions and then state how I’ll respond to them.  Modeling self-care also means practicing mindfulness, pausing before I react, and practicing positive parenting. 

Thankfully, I also have a plethora of books that I can use to help me teach these concepts to my children.  Here are two of my favorites children’s book titles that I use to talk about self-care:

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
Taylor becomes unexpectedly upset when a wonderful block tower comes crashing down.  Thankfully, they have many friends who all offer suggestions for feeling better.  The chicken encourages talking, the bear suggests shouting, and the elephant wants to fix the tower back up again.  Taylor doesn’t want to try any of those things, though.   All Taylor wants is compassion and a listening ear.  This book is wonderful for exploring various methods of dealing with emotions, a big component of self-care for my family.   

Tandem has a wonderful recorded reading of The Rabbit Listened on our Vimeo channel, as well as a helpful blog post with activity ideas for talking about feelings with children.  Feel free to share these resources with the families you serve!

I Am Peace: A Book of Mindfulness by Susan Reynolds is another of my favorites.  Returning to my body when I feel out of proportion is a practice that I’ve incorporated to take care of my own emotional well-being.  It’s also one that I practice with my children. That’s one reason why I love this book.  The techniques it promotes can be practiced in times of calm, and are also very accessible in times of emotional turmoil.  

There are several other titles in the same book series that are also valuable to me.  I Am Human: A Book about Empathy; I Am Love: A Book about Compassion; and I Am One: A Book about Action are all fantastic.  I also love Be You! for its affirmative responses.

This blog post was created for original submission to the Contra Costa Network of Care resource hub. This is an online community for trauma-informed practitioners and family support professionals across Contra Costa County to share resources, access events, build networks, and collaboratively integrate trauma-informed principles into individual and organizational practice. Join the network today to connect with fellow medical providers, therapists, family partners, resource navigators, social workers, community organizers, teachers, coaches, and more.